Second Coming, Brockwell Park

Posted on by Patrick in People, Religion, Shit London Photo, Signs, Weird | 2 Comments

Second Coming, Brockwell Park

I was sitting in Brockwell Park this weekend at the Lambeth Country Show, drinking scrumpy and eating Jerk Chicken (with a hint of petrol) when this interestingly dressed person walked past me. At first I took them to be an extremely, extremely unfortunate looking girl scout but then saw the placard and realised they were something else entirely. This man’s mission is to make the world aware that Jesus’ second coming is imminent and moreover that the end of the world is well and truly, maybe even over duly, nigh. Somewhere down the line he made the decision that the most effective way for him to spread his message was through the medium of Irish dance (interestingly this is in direct contrast to Michael Flatly who has always maintained that Riverdance was created to honour his lord Satan). Irish dancing is probably safer than some of the methods he’s used before. I did a little research and found out that in 2003 this man ran onto the racetrack of the British Grand Prix in front of cars travelling at 200mph, like some kind of weird 21st century homage to suffragette Emily Davison who famously threw herself in front of  a horse at the Epsom Derby in 1913. A year later he travelled to the Athens Olympics to push the front runner of the marathon off the course and into the crowd. That athlete lost the race.

These days he likes to take things a little easier and according to his business card he is available for “weddings, birthday parties and other functions”. He has even appeared on Britain’s Got Talent.

Despite wearing the Star of David this man is also a bonafide Catholic Priest! Which is a shame as I was hoping to make some joke along the lines of “Irish Jew in the name of the law” but I can’t now.

Keep an eye out for him, if the end of the world is coming it might be worth making friends with him.

Posted on by Patrick in Bad Art, East, Olympics, People, Religion, Shit London Photo, Signs | Leave a comment

Holy Shit, Stratford

Far be it from me to suggest to you how to go about recruiting new Christians but I’m pretty certain that a battered, home laminated extract of The Epistle of Paul to the Colossians sellotaped to a bamboo pole crucifix isn’t quite going to cut it. Especially when you’re standing in the shadow of the greatest show on Earth with a giant photo of Jessica Ennis and Team GB looming like a pantheon of sport gods over the people of Stratford.

That kid in the puffa jacket looks interested though. Then again she is wearing a puffa jacket in August so maybe she’s a bit…y’know.

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Found, Religion, Shit London Photo, South | Leave a comment

Recycled Moses, Nunhead

This easily looks like it could be a tableau from a modern day retelling of the story of Moses performed by one those progressive churches that likes to come up with gimmicks like rewriting the bible in text speak (  mega LOL ) or putting on plays where they re-imagine Jesus as a skateboarder or something achingly try hard like that. They’ll spout things like “In many ways Jesus was like a skateboarder, he performed tricks that people struggled to comprehend, wore loose fitting clothing and was always getting into trouble with the law”. I say balls to that, Nazereth lacked the requisite flat surfaces to skate successfully, he’d be more of a parkour man.

Spotted by Tom Mooring

Posted on by Patrick in Puns, Religion, Shit London Photo, Signs, South | 1 Comment

Church Sign Pun, Earlsfield

A pretty respectable pun here from this church in Earlsfield. I can’t pretend however that I don’t wish that this was a sign for a plastic surgery clinic run by a surgeon with a lisp instead.

Posted on by Patrick in Religion, Shit London Photo, Uncategorized, West | 1 Comment

New Tenets of Islam, Shepherds Bush

I’m familiar with the five pillars of Islam but these seven are new on me.