Poor Jem, Teddington

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Graffiti, Puns, Shit London Photo, South | 1 Comment


There would have been an evening a few years ago when Jem was dreaming of setting up his “one stop shop for all your household needs” and perhaps he or a friend came up with this cast iron and pleasingly relevant pun name to call the business. A warm, wholesome name that conjured images of dreams coming true, of benign elderly men in shiny, flammable clothing and armchairs installed with mechanised badge delivery systems. Fast forward a few years and the name he once so adored has become a horrible reminder of a real life bogey man, his myriad of deviant crimes and the shattered dreams of thousands of children. Jem finds himself constantly taunted by people in the street saying “Are you going to change your name?” or perhaps giving him sideways glances and wondering if merely through association with the pun he may perhaps be a dreaded nonce. The words “Local Friendly Service” take on a new sinister edge. Poor Jem finally is driven to graffiti his own van just to stop the sniggers, the dumb questions and the whispers behind his back. His once perfect dream now lays in tatters around his feet, a solid pun now a millstone around his neck. I bet even watching those scouts trying to eat their packed lunch on a rollercoaster can’t raise a smile from his these days.

Spotted by Matt Aldhouse

Magic Kingdom, Tottenham

Posted on by Patrick in East, Graffiti, Shit London Photo, Signs | Leave a comment

Magic Kingdom, Tottenham

Not content with buying up the Star Wars universe AND the Marvel universe, in an unpredictable move The Mouse is seemingly claiming ownership of individual streets in Tottenham. I’m not sure what this means or what the implications are for the people that live on this street. Will moustaches and beards soon be banned? Will it become mandatory for people that live there to smile all the time? Frankly I think they’ll struggle with that one…this is London after all a town where the mantra could be “Turn that smile upside down”

Spotted by Sarah O’ Mahony

Backlash, Dalston

Posted on by Patrick in East, Graffiti, Shit London Photo | 1 Comment

Backlash, Dalston

…and so it begins…if it hadn’t begun already.

The great hipster backlash looks to be upon this particular corner of East London judging by this piece of graffiti. It seems that there are only so many fixed gear bike riding, vegan shoe blogging, ironic moustache wearing, lazy stereotype fulfilling people that can saturate an area before the locals start feeling marginalised and start painting walls themselves. But that’s assuming that this is the handiwork of a born and bred Dalstonite. There’s a high chance that this is in fact a piece of ironic self referential graffiti carried out by a secretly self loathing hipster….which would just be absolutely fucking typical wouldn’t it.

Spotted by Joe Lee

Spacey, Seven Sisters Rd

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Knobism, North, People, Shit London Photo | Leave a comment

Spacey, Seven Sisters Rd

We’ve all woken up at some point in our life with a knob drawn on our head after a night on the sauce. In pre-internet days these kind of incidents usually stayed amongst a small group of friends but with the advent of social media increasingly peoples shame is broadcast for the whole world to see. It’s must be even more embarrassing if you are major Hollywood star and this happens to you. Here we have evidence of Kevin Spacey out on a drunken rampage around Seven Sisters Road where he not only has a classic “cock n’ balls” emblazoned across his forehead but also seems to make the admission that his balls are bigger than his “peeny.” The usually eloquent Mr Spacey also throws all the rules of grammar out of the window in his admission, another sign that he is hog whimperlingly swigfaced.

Spotted by Ariel King

Protest, Honor Oak Park

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Shit London Photo, South | Leave a comment

Protest, Honor Oak Park


Shit Londoner Rose Chorlton sent this in from the front line of the battle to save the high street…

“Sorry for the bad quality but thought I should send this picture. You’ll need a little backstory to it though.

This grafiti has been sprayed onto the hoarding for where they are planning to build a Sainsbury’s local in Honor Oak Park. There has been much ‘protest’ about this (despite there being nothing of the sort in HOP), but they just love protesting (recently Domino’s was blocked from opening in the high street due to “the noise pollution from the motorcycles and the unhealthy lifestyle choices Domino’s represents”!). This particularly middle class quote from Richard III I loved best.”

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