Poor Jem, Teddington

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Graffiti, Puns, Shit London Photo, South | 1 Comment


There would have been an evening a few years ago when Jem was dreaming of setting up his “one stop shop for all your household needs” and perhaps he or a friend came up with this cast iron and pleasingly relevant pun name to call the business. A warm, wholesome name that conjured images of dreams coming true, of benign elderly men in shiny, flammable clothing and armchairs installed with mechanised badge delivery systems. Fast forward a few years and the name he once so adored has become a horrible reminder of a real life bogey man, his myriad of deviant crimes and the shattered dreams of thousands of children. Jem finds himself constantly taunted by people in the street saying “Are you going to change your name?” or perhaps giving him sideways glances and wondering if merely through association with the pun he may perhaps be a dreaded nonce. The words “Local Friendly Service” take on a new sinister edge. Poor Jem finally is driven to graffiti his own van just to stop the sniggers, the dumb questions and the whispers behind his back. His once perfect dream now lays in tatters around his feet, a solid pun now a millstone around his neck. I bet even watching those scouts trying to eat their packed lunch on a rollercoaster can’t raise a smile from his these days.

Spotted by Matt Aldhouse

Borderline Copyright Infringement, Streatham

Posted on by Patrick in Puns, Shit London Photo, Shops, Signs, South, Weird | 3 Comments


Maybe the owners of this mini-cab company should’ve Googled “copyright infringement” before they chose to put this sign up. I suppose this felt like a cunning idea at the time. Call your mini-cab company “Google Cars” and then every time somebody types “cars” into Google your mini cab company will pop up at the top of the page, right? Except, it doesn’t really work like that in practice does it? Maybe the owners of this place thought they were working along the same principle of those plumbers who call there business “AAAAA000000011111 Plumbers” in an attempt to appear first in the Yellow Pages. Who knows? One thing that is for certain is that is not an attempt by Google to diversify their business by muscling in on the South London mini-cab market. As a business move that would make no sense, it’s not something a giant company would do unless they have a special division devoted to making wild, outlandish and improbable investments.

The hastily rearranged sign changing “Google Cars” into the enigmatic sounding “Goooglie Cars” suggest that they might have got a phone call from the lawyers at Google HQ. It’s no surprise really considering that they are the only company who have little cars driving around that are constantly and consistently photographing everything on the street. They were bound to notice at some point.

Casual Misogyny, Archway

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, North, Puns, Shit London Photo, Signs, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Casual Misogyny, Archway

I like the name of this business, it’s a good pun, but I’m not so sure about the casual misogyny that follows. That’s the kind of humour that used to wheeze through the lips of bloated old “Churchill the Insurance Dog” ¬†lookalike, stand-up comedians in the late 1970’s. I can only assume that this person must’ve had some bad experiences with women in the past…driving around with this on his roof I don’t think he’s in for any good ones anytime soon.

Spotted by Nathan Eaton

Posted on by Patrick in Food, Puns, Restaurants, Shit London Photo, Signs, South | Leave a comment

Burger Van Menu, Vauxhall

I love a bit of vague copyright infringement, especially when it’s taking on one of the big boys who often seem to lack a sense of humour about such things. This is an excellent example.

Spotted by Matthew Copperwaite


Posted on by Patrick in Puns, Shit London Photo, South | 5 Comments

What the Dickens? , Tooting

Great piece of punnery bringing together one of Dickens finest works and the world of original and reproduction fireplaces.