Olympic Feed

Warning, Olympic Park

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, East, Olympic Feed, Olympics, People, Shit London Photo, Signs, Weird | Leave a comment

Warning, Olympic Park

The Olympic park seemed like a magical bubble where all the nations on Earth competed side by side in a friendly and peaceful enviroment. An army of relentlessly cheery Games Makers made visitors from all over the planet feel welcome. People from different nations united under a banner of sport in a temporary utopia that had risen out of an industrial wasteland in Stratford.

However, just beneath the surface of all that serenity lay a dark truth, of an enslaved workforce living under the threat that anyone caught stepping out of line would be dealt with in the harshest of manners. All those Games Makers smiles and high fives don’t look so sincere now that the above evidence shows that they virtually had the muzzle of a rifle at their backs. Wonder how they got so many people to selflessly donate their time and effort for free? Easy, they held their families hostage in a huge containment facility hidden under the stadium. All that G4S security shambles was merely a clever ruse to bring large amounts of military personnel onto the site without raising suspicion.

Those sharpshooters sitting atop the Westfield centre? The surface to air missiles on top of blocks of flats? They were to keep people in. 

Wonder why the Olympic closing ceremony was so rubbish compared to the opening ceremony? Easy, the families of the Games Makers were forced to create the entire show in a cost cutting exercise. From the first concept to right down to set construction they slaved on it. That’s why the whole set was built from newspaper and the choreography was so shoddy. It’s a fact that you cannot produce a successful, large scale public event using extremely limited, largely salvaged resources ( The Spice Girls) and a workforce under duress.

Wonder why those Games Makers were all corralled on The Mall together during the final parade? Easy, LOCOG wanted to intimidate them all with one final show of military might in the form of several flypasts to ensure their ongoing silence. The reason they all looked so deliriously happy on TV was that they were all imminently to be reunited with their families after a long and frankly terrifying ordeal.

Let’s us all just take a moment to thank these brave individuals, their families and give a moments thought to those who didn’t survive this cruellest of summers.

To the Games Makers….We Will Never Forget.


Inside the Olympic Park – A Shit London Report

Posted on by Patrick in Articles, East, Olympic Feed, Olympics, Shit London Photo, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

I was, like many others, deeply cynical when it came to the Olympic games. I thought the city would be swamped with well meaning but annoyingly meandering groups of people in matching back packs. I fully expected travel chaos on a unprecedented scale on our tube networks. I imagined that as a city we’d somehow screw up hosting the worlds biggest sporting event. And you know what? So far NONE of that has come to pass.


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