Local Government

Stay Safe, Soho

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Local Government, Shit London Photo, West End | Leave a comment


Sometimes I feel sorry for the Met. If they stand back and “observe” as people are burnt out of their homes and every precious branch of JD Sports in South London is looted to oblivion then people get pissed off at them. If they gather in their hundreds in full riot gear to eject a few protestors from an old police station in Soho, people get pissed off at them for that. If during some light hearted kettling they violently shove a half cut, middle aged man with his hands in his pockets onto his face who then subsequently has a heart attack and dies, the public gets all uppity about the fact they tried to blame their way out of it. Worse still, when an officer innocently tries to earn a little more cash then the pittance they are on by selling confidential information to the press they are widely condemned for it. They just can’t win can they? Which I why I feel especially sorry for them when I see sights like this that suggest that they can’t even make a window safe let alone an entire neighbourhood.

Spotted by John Marshall

Insensitive Planning, Sutton

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Buildings, Local Government, Shit London Photo, Signs, South | 1 Comment

life centre

It’s important in life to be aware of your own mortality. In fact not being aware of your own mortality can often lead to people coming face to face with it in sudden, lively and painful ways. Sutton Council’s decision to place their Life Centre mere yards from their cemetery seems at first glance a deeply cynical move. Thinking about it though it makes perfect sense in these times. To reduce carbon emissions it’s logical to get all the buildings that deal with life and death located as near to each other as possible. Hospitals should always be built next to cemeteries. Whilst it understandably might upset a few sensitive people and possibly depress the patients, it would reduce massively the emissions from all those private ambulances ferrying the recently deceased around like luxurious black cabs for those with rigor mortis. Local authorities could side step the need for those entirely by simply installing a network of water-slide type tubes to which connect various hospital departments directly to the cemetery next door. When a patient dies just make sure they’re not wearing a watch, any jewellery or cut-off denim shorts and then pop their cadaver down the tube. It’d be just a like a rather macabre version of that Barclaycard ad but marginally less irritating after the thirtieth time you’ve seen it.

Spotted by Richard Sweet

Politics, Clapton

Posted on by Patrick in East, Graffiti, Local Government, Shit London Photo | 3 Comments

Politics, Clapton

Politics is a dirty, dirty business full of infighting, back stabbing and shadowy deals. As the old adage goes “Politics is just show business for ugly people” and looking at the House of Commons on some afternoons it’s a view that’s hard to disagree with. There is a huge disconnect between “normal” people and those in Westminster and a lot of this can be blamed that on people aspiring to and becoming career politicians without having had any real experience of the outside world. This can produce a certain breed of socially maladjusted person that is so enraptured with the machinations of politics that they effectively stand for nothing apart from themselves. If politicians were to at least try and pretend to be human people might identify with them more and listen to what they have to say. If they were to actually answer questions rather than bleat out stock media trained responses they might get people to trust them more. If they dropped the phrase “Now let me be perfectly clear….” and actually were perfectly clear instead, then perhaps people would respond to them better. If they stopped distracting us with that weird new thing where they gesture with a fist with one of their thumbs clamped firmly down on top ( a move which is neither a thumbs up – too positive…. nor a fist – too aggressive )  then maybe we’d take them seriously. That’s why I hope that the above piece of graffiti is the work of Shadow Education minister Stephen Twigg, it would show us that Twigg is an irrational human being, a flawed human being, a human being with feelings…one of us.

Spotted by Dominic Simpson

Sadly I think this is just wishful thinking, that politicians have no interest in changing and in fact things might just get worse. Watching a BBC2 documentary on young Oxbridge Tories I think we’re in for trouble in the future. Just look at the kind of books this future leader of tomorrow likes to read! Be afraid, be very afraid.



Sign, Golders Green

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Local Government, North, Shit London Photo, Signs | 1 Comment

Sign, Golders Green

Forget parking here unless you live in the area and are either a fertile man or are in possession of a container full of sperm. These council rules get more ridiculous by the day.

Spotted by Steve Reed


Tree, Herne Hill

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Local Government, Shit London Photo, South | Leave a comment

Tree, Herne Hill

Shit Londoner Josh Burrows spotted this in Herne Hill and sent it this way saying…

“This confused me for a long time. I mean, it doesn’t LOOK like a tree, it doesn’t FEEL like a tree, I couldn’t CLIMB this tree and yet there could be no mistaking that this was…a tree. Perhaps it’s a little like René Magritte’s Ceci n’est pas une pipe but even deeper and more progressive. Or maybe this is the future of urban regeneration: send men round with white paint and instructions to label grey and depressing parts of the city with nice things like ‘tree’, ‘flower’ or perhaps ‘community garden’.”

Josh may have a point there. In these austere times I could see this catching on. I only hope that certain councils aren’t reading this blog otherwise they’ll almost certainly take that idea and run with it.